Thursday, June 4, 2009

Dear God,

Anything, Anything to break the monotony of everyday,

The eternity of my ass glued to this chair,

The infinity of day and night,

The mundanity of routine,

The helplessness of inertia,

The frustration of wanting and not having.....

Please God,Please God,

Wings, God, Balls, Fearlessness God, Please God....

Tell me do I pop a pill and will I be impervious to rejection, dejection?

Will I take off..... can I take off......

Why did you make me so.... so..... so..... weak?

Filled with anxiety, apprehension, fears, nervousness, lassitude, apathy, indifference, complacency.

Every day is torture it is..... but by the end.... you become complacent about torture as well......

How could you? Its all your fault. You are a freakin pervert!

Let me go back to screen staring.

This is dystopia God. It is for me. This second of my sitting at this chair, staring at this screen, seems endless. Seems the future. Is the present and has been the past.....

If I am to remain this way, slash away, throttle the remaining vestiges of feeling, longing in me.... so that complacency becomes me...... Please God do it. Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

For me please. For me please.

I dont have the balls to break free.....

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