Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The nook of your arm.....

These days I have Baali to sleep beside me. He is warm, silent, accomodating and undemanding. His fur however could do with a scented bath. From the nook of your arm to Baali's dust induced smell..... i have proceeded, progressed. The flat is homely, the bed is small and the bedspread is washed every two weeks. Ambu Bai vents out her frustration on the bell and wakes me up every morning. Bathed, scented, creamed and sunglassed, I leave for work.

In the train-Mumbai Central, Grant Road, Charni Road and Marine Lines pass before I reach Churchgate. There, among the multitudes, I walk head held high, shoulders erect, stomach sucked in and a practiced smile on my face. I see tired eyes and eager smiles, hunched shoulders and hastening heels, mobile phones and silent stares, aimless loitering and purposeful strides. How many of them are hurting inside I wonder. For how many millions is the hysteria just bubbling beneath the surface? I have established camaraderie with the routine and the mundane, you know. They dont irk me anymore.

If it werent for them I would be celebrating my depression every morning with addiction and escapism. When there is work to attend, trains to catch, reports to be prepared, meals to be had, indolence and lassitude to be embraced, bills to be paid, maids to be worried about, gyms to be visited, facials to be had, temple Gods to be appeased, the idiot box to be satiated; unhappiness and unfulfilment do not knock with the same persistence.

Iam happy, I have the boring to fall back on. Yes it is my support system.
And then, there are the good times..... when I ran with thousands from the city, cheered by thousands in the city, when we just talk till wee hours in the morning, when S makes dal and i make the curry and we have it watching melodrama unfold in the idiot box, when friends come over and decibels and spirits both run high, when I get to watch dreams woven in technicolor every week, when I saw that I lost 800 gms in one week, when choclate can be had guilt free, when i saw the sun rise in Daman, when we got lost in Goa with stray dogs and empty fields for company, when i cuddled baby Shaurya in my arms, when I saw sun light breaking on the Nanda Devi, when I dipped in the gorgeously green river Kosi, when I bought the amazingly hot saree...... when I know I can pen down my mania.....

I am jubiliant in bits and pieces, dispairing in shards. This city.... has jolted me so upright, i can never slouch anymore!!!The city gets on to you... like no other does.... takes u to the precarious and brings u back saying, "Its ok kid... lifes not that bad!".

You Know, my necklines have got deeper, my collar bones more taught, my curves trimmer, my nights longer, my addictions wilder, my cheekbones more pronounced but my eyes..... drier.
I dont have the nook of your arm to sleep on.......but sleep still comes, a trifle later than usual but nevertheless it is blissfully peaceful.
Strange as it may sound, I like going to bed with Baali by my side and Psychedallic trance blasting my eardrums!!
Life!!

11 comments:

hitch writer said...

Walk with sucked in stomach - rofl...

Sunrise at Nanda devi... gee i need to go there... !!!

Kamana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kamana said...

Dhiren! cut me some slack! it is said that walking with ur stomach pulled in improves ur posture!!!

hitch writer said...

lol... sure I get it now... lol

Suman said...

Leave banking .. get to writing.. you have written about an AMAZING thing..it is THE MOST continuing thing.. and we should be thankful for it.. people do not realise it.. maybe because they are already working.. but you are right.. gettting up / maid / catching train./ gym. / bills ..etc.doesnt allow you to go into remorse.. if these were not there. everybody would be always be in some or the other kind of remorse.. gonna share your blog with some other aspiring writers..

Suman said...

when I ran with thousands from the city, cheered by thousands in the city.....



u went for the Mumbai marathon..??

Serendipity said...

Oh my, this was seriously well wriiten.

Spoken like a true Mumbaikar. I was gonna copy paste a few of my fav lines, but then it so happened that those few lines were close to 80% of your post, so decided against.

Kamana said...

You should ve nonetheless, wudve lovd to read them!!

GuNs said...

Ok 'Sunglassed' is oficially the funniest word I've heard/read today.

I got down to the strange habit of sleeping with earphone on for a few months when i was in the UK. I would start watching a movie on the laptop with my earphones on and usually I would START the movie around midnight and around 2.00 a.m, I'd doze off with the earphones still on. Then I'd wake again in the middle of the night some random time and see the laptop on my bed and my earphone in my ear and then take off the earphones, leave the laptop as it is and go back to sleep!

Haa...that was boring!

Amrutaa said...

How DARE u name her 'Ambu' Bai???? :X

Kamana said...

Coz she IS AMBU bai!!!!